angel

Please be warned. The LO that follows may be distressing. Look away NOW if you need to....

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This is one of the three photos that were taken at the hospital after Levi died. The sister on duty insisted on getting the camera out and taking them, and thank God she did, because in WA that was no longer standard practice at the Coroners' Office, AND every photo I had taken of him up till this point was lost due to a faulty camera. So this is all I have to remind me of how he looked at almost 7 weeks of age.

I had no idea how to scrap these photos. My style is very simple and I wanted the photos to be the centre of attention. Sometimes I think they look a little stark -- but hell, it was a pretty stark kind of day, you know?

congratulations

I made a pocket to store all the congratulations cards I received. One day I'll do the same for the sympathy cards. I'll need two or maybe 3 pages for those, though.

missing you

I have only two photos of Levi alive. SO I have scrapped this one a few times in different ways.

the hospital 'stuff'

I didn't want to throw away anything, so I scrapped the cards and stuff from the bassinette thingy in hospital as well. This is one of my very early pages, and one of the few that I got to do as a baby page.

ultrasounds....

What to do with ultrasound photos? Well, firstly, be VERY careful. I have heard that some scanners can destroy them, so I used my originals. I also included the report, and my antenatal cards (I've blurred out my doctors' name etc)
Some time after he was gone, I realised that sometimes it felt like he'd been a dream. My focus on this page was partly to show that he HAD been here, alive, a real person, even if it was only for a short time.
Hence the title (Proof of Life) and the red circle I drew round the word LIVE in the ultrasound report.

my title page

This is the title page for Levis' album. To make it, I used this gorgeous textured paper with silver stars all over it, and a scrap of silver paper under his name. The clear plastic frame I had had for a long time.
I used the lyrics from a song we played at his funeral, as well, because I love it so much, and often listen to it.

What do I put in the album?

Short answer - whatever you want.

I think chronologically, so I started with pregnancy stuff (ante-natal cards, ultrasound pics etc) -- then did all the birth stuff like announcements, cards, the stuff from his hospital 'bed' thingy, birth certificate, the Medicare card with his name on it -- and the two photos I have of him alive. Anything that showed he was a person, he was real, he was here.

Then I moved on to the rest of it -- I kept everything I could, and I'm slowly getting that all safely scrapped and stored. I plan to include the autopsy report, the death certificate, all the cards and notes I received -- because it all means something to me. I want it all included to show it's importance.

But that is my personal decision. You need to only include what you are comfortable with, and remember that can change at any time and you can add or take things away.

I'll be putting some pages from Levis' album up soon. Like, maybe next week if I can get my act together.

What do I start with?

If you're a beginner scrapper, you will be bewildered by the choice of products available. Some stores have beginners kits available, or your local scrap shop may be able to recommend some beginner supplies for you. Here is a list of basics that will get you started:
* an album -- most scrappers choose 12x12 which will give you plenty of room to fit cards etc if you are thinking of including them in your album. Most papers and cardstock come in 12x12 inches as well, so it's a neat fit. I like 3-ring albums as they can be quickly re-arranged and you can add pages very easily. Some albums come with a thick card cover which you can cover and decorate yourself. I love the ones by American Crafts, but if this all seems a bit difficult for now, you can simply store your finished LOs in unused pizza boxes till later.
* adhesive -- my favourite is rolls of double-sided tape as it doesn't pucker the paper and is easy to apply, but adhesives are a matter of personal taste so you may like to try out a few different types.
* sharp, pointed scissors
* a paper trimmer OR a steel rule and scalpel with LOTS of spare blades
* paper and cardstock

To this list you can add
* ribbons and lace
* stickers
* buttons
* stamps
* paint and ink
* embossing powders
* brads
and a million more beautiful things

If you don't have a local scrapshop, find yourself a good on-line store and ask if they can help you with some starter supplies.
Another good tip is to join a local crop or scrap group -- some of the ladies may be able to help you with sharing supplies and tips to get you started.

How do I start?

If you have been thinking about making an album, you may be feeling overwhelmed by the task. Where do you start? what do you include? how can you make it 'real'? what if it upsets people?

The first thing to remember is this -- make the album for the person it's for. If you're making it for a friend or loved one, then keep their wishes in mind, and don't worry about anyone else!

If you're doing it for yourself, then you have no-one else to please but yourself.
There is no right or wrong way to proceed. You have to follow your heart. You can include anything you want to. You can leave out anything you want to. You can write as little or as much as you wish. You can decide who will see it. You can take as long as you need to.

Secondly, remember this -- making the album will stir up emotions. Be prepared. If you can, talk to someone about how it's making you feel. Maybe you will even want to journal about making the album, and use this as part of the story you're telling.
You may need to take it one small step at a time, or you may find it therapeutic to create something beautiful for this person you loved and have lost.
Hopefully, as you go on, the beautiful album you are creating, and the gift of remembering your loved one, will help to ease the pain a little.