the not-birthday

Life begins with such promise.

As parents, we look at our new-born babies, and we see the future.
A million possibilities stretch out in front of us, like a Yellow Brick Road that leads on through all the years that this child will have, signposted with goals and landmarks.

We anticipate the Firsts. First smile, first tooth, first steps, first words, first birthday, first day of school.
We dream of sports carnival ribbons, and lumpy clay Mothers' Day presents, and paddle-pop stick stars for the Christmas tree.

We promise ourselves to deal gently with grazed knees and bruised egos and broken hearts. We will walk beside them to protect our fragile children from the monsters of this world until they're strong enough to protect themselves.

Their birthdays appear along the Road as milestones, marked with balloons and excitement, an achievement and a celebration. Each one is a triumph. "You Have Made It This Far! Keep Going!"

The road, for my little boy, is empty. There are no milestones. There are no crowds to cheer him on. There are not even any footprints to show me where he's been. There are 15 years of nothingness behind us, and many more in front.

The promise of What Might Have Been still hurts my heart.

heartfelt

Today, I read this post on Sunny Side Up, and it really touched my heart.

Some of our most precious photos are the most distressing to look at. Our loved ones' last pictures may not be 'happy snaps' - they might have been taken in a hospital, with wires and monitors etc all around, or there may be signs caused by an accident.

We may have bittersweet memories caused by those photos, and find them hard to look at. Worse still, if they're the ONLY photos you have of your precious and much-loved baby, and Others can't bring themselves to look at them.

K at Sunny Side Up talks about how she re-touched the photos of her daughter, and painstakingly removed all the tubes and tape from her little girls' face. She now has photos she can show people, and they can see the babys' beauty, instead of only seeing the technology.

K also talks about an organisation called Heartfelt.
This is from their Home page.

Heartfelt is a volunteer organisation of professional photographers from all over Australia dedicated to giving the gift of photographic memories to families that have experienced stillbirths, premature and ill infants and children in the Neonatal Intensive Care Units of their local hospitals, as well as children with serious and terminal illnesses.

Heartfelt is dedicated to providing this gift to families in a caring, compassionate manner.

All services are provided free of charge.

This is an amazing service, and I encourage you to go take a look at the website. The more people who know about this service, the more chance there is of parents being able to access it.